1. Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing," she asked?
"They're mating," her father
replied. "What do you call the
spider on top," she asked? "A
Daddy Longlegs," her father
answered. "So, the other one is
a Mommy Longlegs," the little
girl asked?
As his heart soared with the joy
of such a
cute and innocent
question he replied, "No dear.
Both of them are Daddy
Longlegs.
The little girl, looking a little
puzzled, thought for a moment,
then lifted her foot and stomped
them flat. "Well," she said, "that
may be OK in California, but
we're not having any of that crap
here in Texas."
2. A shepherd goes to a television
programme.
A man of the viewers stand up
and asks him, "What was the
best day of your life?"
The shepherd answers,
"Well...the best day of my life
was when I lost my donkey in
Cuccureddu's mountain, when I
found it, i took it to the village's
square and everyone fu**ed it."
A second man of the viewers
asks him, "And the second best
day of your life?"
And the shepherd, "Well...the
second one was when in lost a
sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain,
when I found it, I took it to the
village's square and everyone
fu**ed it."
So, after that, a third man of the
viewers stand up and asks, "And
the worse day of your life?."
"The worse day of my life was
when I got lost in Cuccureddu's
mountain..."
3. In a maternity hospital the wife
delivered a son.
The husband asked his wife: "I
am white, you are white, why is
it that the child is black?"
The wife replied: "I am hot and
you are hot. The child must have
been burnt"
4. Father: Which one do you love
more , me or Mommy?
Son: I love you both.
Father: Very Well , lets say I
went to Japan and Mommy went
to France which country will you
go to?
Son: Japan.
Father: See, that you love
Mommy more than me?
Son: No, I just want to visit
Japan.
Father: Very well , lets say I
went to Japan and Mommy went
to France which country will you
go to?
Son: France.
Father: See?
Son: No its just because I have
already visited Japan.
5. A nice lady in a short skirt walks
up to a police man on the street
and says, "I have a problem."
The police man asked her what
it is, she points to a man across
the street and says, "See that
man?"
The police man replies, "Yes, is
he watching you?"
She replies, " NO!, that is the
problem!"
