Ofego to Akpos: Why don't u just go and
study?
Akpos: What for?
Ofego: You'll get good marks.
Akpos: then?
Ofego: You'll
get good job.
Akpos: then?
Ofego: You'll have big house, new car.
Akpos: So what after that?
Ofego: After that you'll relax.
Akpos: So what do u think i'm doing right now, am I not relaxing?
2)
Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife, but accidentally called the cricket stadium.
He asks, "How's the situation?"
He was shocked and nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, "It's fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck!"
3)
A man goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide.
He met with Akpos the librarian.
Man: Please! Do you have a book on suicide?
Akpos: What do you want to read that kind of book for?
Man: I want to commit suicide.
Akpos stares at him for a while and said; Please leave this place! Who will return the book.
4)
Akpos In church.
Pastor: Akpos are you ready to
give your life to Christ?
Akpos: Yes pastor.
Pastor: Ok, repeat after me. Dear heavenly
father i thank you.
Akpos: Dear heavenly father i thank you.
Pastor: Thank you for giving out your son Jesus to die for my sin.
Akpos: Thank you for giving out your son Jesus to die for my sin.
Pastor: Even as i come to you today accept me and wash my sin away and make me clean.
Akpos: Even as i come to you today accept
me and wash my sin away and make me clean.
Pastor: For in Jesus name we pray.
Akpos: For in Jesus name we pray.
Pastor: Amen.
Akpos: Amen.
Pastor: Akpos you are now a new man.
Akpos: Akpos you are now a new man.
Pastor: No, you can stop now i have finish.
Akpos: No, you can stop now i have finish.
Pastor: I said stop repeating after me.
Akpos: I said stop repeating after me.
Pastor: Holy Jesus!
Akpos: Holy Jesus!
Pastor: Akpos stop this before i lay a curse on you.
Akpos: Akpos stop this before i lay a curse on you.
Pastor: Do you know you are in front of the people.
Akpos: Do you know you are in front of the people.
Pastor: It seems you are not born again yet.
Akpos: It seems you are not born again yet.
Pastor: (Whispers) Akpos please stop.
Akpos: Akpos please stop.
Pastor: Akpos it seems you are possess.
Akpos: Akpos it seems you are possess.
Pastor (Tired): Church please help me beg Akpos to stop.
Akpos: Church please help me beg Akpos to stop.
Church Members: Please Akpos stop.
Akpos: (Silent).
Pastor: Akpos go and sit down. (facing the congregation) Church Offering time.
Akpos: Akpos go and sit down. Church
Offering time.
Pastor: (changes his mood)
Akpos if you think you can come here and stop offering, that means you lie.
Akpos: Akpos if you think you can come
here and stop offering, that means you lie.
5)
One day a man decided to surprise his wife. He took all day to bake a cake in the shape of a big HEART with the help of the house girl.
The house girl asked him what the shape meant and he simply said "LOVE".
The wife came back shouting at the house girl when she met her sleeping.
The Wife: Will you get up now! Stupid girl what have you been doing since morning?
Maid: Madam don't be angry please. Me and oga have been making LOVE since morning. Is just now that we finished. I then said i should lie down and rest a little.
The woman fainted.
